It’s show season and this weekend I had the pleasure of attending the annual Portland Sportsmen Expo. February in the Northwest is not a real hotbed of recreational opportunities but the sportsmen show for many is one of the few reasons for the dedicated hunter to get out of bed, put on your best Sunday camouflage, hop in the truck, and shop for all of the latest gear.
For me it is mainly about people watching. I love people but I wouldn’t exactly say that the average sportsmen show attendee and I run in the same social circles. It’s a different crowd than I am used to but I always find the show entertaining as well as educational. For instance I learned that a cold beer is a perfectly acceptable breakfast beverage for the avid sportsmen. I also learned that…….
You can take an otherwise perfectly functional boat, glue sagebrush to the entire surface area, and you now have an almost undetectable $40,000 high-tech duck hunting blind. That’s commitment.
I learned that for less than the price of your average automobile you are guaranteed to come home with your very own leopard carcass. Of course one must ask if it is still “hunting” if they guarantee your success. At the point they could just UPS it to you.
I learned that it’s actually possible to compensate for undersized genitalia if your elk horns won’t fit above the fireplace.
I learned that it’s possible to stuff a dead animal and make it look a little TOO real. Not recommended for households with sleepwalkers.
I learned that just when you think you’ve shot and killed every animal there was to kill, there’s always those ferocious zebras still out there grazing on the savanna. Roy Rogers stuffed Trigger so why not?
Yes it’s always an entertaining weekend and this year was not disappointing.
