So I realize that between baseball games, swim meets, and that pesky 40 hour-a-week task they call work, that I have had little time to pay ample attention to my blog. However, my hard drive is going bad so I started sorting through old files and ran across an old rant of mine. I can’t even remember when or why I wrote this piece, but I have taken the liberty of amending it to account for the clarity I now posses. :) The amended 2009 answers are noted in RED (Yes, that was intentional for all you Bible buffs.) The article is entitled…
What would you ask God?
If God appeared in front of you right now and said, “Ask me anything and I’ll give you the answer.”, what would you ask him? I have always had moments where I’ve thought to myself, “that would be a good question for God” but I’ve never formally sat down and prepared a list. However, the more I think it, it only makes sense to be prepared if I ever do get a sudden opportunity to have life’s questions answered by the creator himself. So here it is…..what I would ask God….
In no particular order of importance:
- How do you keep track of all those prayer requests?
- Did you ever consider creating a hotter hell for the really bad people?
- If you know my thoughts and actions even before I’ve done them couldn’t you let me know ahead of time so I could avoid the bad stuff that you already know I’m going to do? You could just email me a list every morning. (No emails received to date)
- Is there life on other planets? If so, are we the “higher” life form or were we your practice run?
- What was the purpose in hardening Pharaoh's heart? Wouldn’t it have been easier to soften it?
- Would Adam eventually have eaten the fruit had Eve not beat him to it?
- What did the shepherds do with all their sheep when they came to see you in the manger?
- There are 6.5 billion people on the planet. So if I’m a “one in a million” kind of guy does that mean there are 6500 guys out there just like me? (There are now an estimated 6.8 million people on the planet and I’m still waiting for my answer.)
- How high will Google stock get? ($747.24. If we only knew….)
- Have you ever come down to earth again just to check out how much it’s changed in 2000 years?
- How come you stopped writing the Bible?
- Is the huge shade tree in my backyard going to eventually damage my foundation? (Yes…)
- Who will I be surprised to see in heaven?
- Who will I be surprised to NOT see in heaven?
- Did Dave Kingman ever forgive me for beating the crap out of him for no reason back in the 6th grade?
- Did Paul ever utter the words, “screw this, I’m going back to tax collecting”?
- Why are people right-handed or left-handed? Wouldn’t it have been more productive to make everyone ambidextrous?
- Was there another shooter on the grassy knoll?
- Did Sadaam ever have weapons of mass destruction? (Apparently not.)
- Were the dinosaurs just too big to fit on the ark?
- That cute blonde in college that I was too chicken to ask out…. Would she have said yes?
- Will the Rams ever make it back to the Super Bowl? If so, when and what’s the point spread.
- Where is Jimmy Hoffa’s body?
- Was trading Shaq a mistake? (2009 Update….probably)
- Where is Osama Bin Laden hiding? (2009 Update. We STILL have no clue. Yet I can sit in my office, go to Google Streets, and see the tomatoes in my front yard growing in my backyard in real time.)
- Does size really matter? (They keep telling me that it doesn’t)
- I’m sure Bathsheba was smoking’ hot but was she really worth the trouble?
- Does Bigfoot really exist or was the video a hoax?
- Is professional wrestling real?
- What are this week’s Super Lotto numbers?
- Reggie Bush or Vince Carter? (2009 Update…they both suck.)
- Do I increase my chances of getting something I ask for by continuing to ask for it or have you pretty much made up your mind whether to give it to me way ahead of time?
- What was the purpose in giving me a slow metabolism?
- Do you ever get tired of hearing the same songs over and over on Sunday mornings?
- Have you ever looked down and thought, “Now why did I make that darn promise after the flood?”
- Have you ever thought. “Should I really have “blessed” Darrin with this strange sense of humor?”
