The Global Warming Scam Revealed!!

I suppose a good place to start would be to just get a few things out in the open. I’m a white Anglo-Saxon protestant, card-carrying conservative Republican straight from the womb. I don’t know that I had much choice in the matter. My first baby outfit was a “Pardon Spiro Agnew” onesie and at Halloween when most of the kids were dressing up as Spiderman, I was donning a navy blue suit and Ronald Reagan mask. I believe guns belong in homes, prayer belongs in schools, and illegal immigrants belong in their own country. I voted for George Bush, Bob Dole, and…..well….…even George Dubbya……twice. Although I don’t necessarily believe in rubber-stamping every Republican idea that comes across the table you sort of get an idea of where I’m coming from.
For this reason I find it disturbing that I have recently started thinking about the environment. For a good portion of the last few decades environmental issues were off the radar of conservative Republicans. Sure if a trash bin and a recycle bin were side by side we might make the extra effort to toss the can in the correct bin but we really didn’t have time to focus on such minor issues. We had much bigger fish to fry. Really important priorities like flag-burning, drug wars, picketing abortion clinics, and keeping our military safe from those pesky homosexuals. We had a full plate and didn’t really have the time to stop, glance at the global thermometer, and ask, “Is it getting warm in here to you?”
Meanwhile environmentalists were chaining themselves to trees, laying in front of developer’s bulldozers, and taking a courageous stand against the formidable Pro-“Baby Seal Clubbing” lobby. Thereby solidifying the Republican’s long-held view that environmentalist were in fact, wackos.
Fast forward to 2008. It now seems both Republicans and Democrats alike recognize that perhaps a few of those wacky tree-sitters might have been a little more on target than anyone thought. My daughter can’t leave her house without her asthma inhaler, we’re running out of places to put our garbage, and our glaciers are receding faster than Bruce Willis’ hairline. Now living “green” is hip, the “wackos” smugly pass by in their Prius, and even the rightest of the right-wingers are thinking, “Uh oh…now what?”
And this is where my journey begins……